Walk in Wisdom
Toward outsiders,
Making the best use of time.
Let your speech always be gracious,
Seasoned with salt,
So that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Col 4:5-6.
The ESV study Bible says seasoned with salt is the same idea as how Jesus directed his disciples – to be salt of the earth (Matt 5:13). Applying that idea to communication implies “speaking in an interesting, stimulating, and wise way” (ESV, 2008, p. 2300).
When you eat something that doesn’t have enough salt, it is bland. Adding salt enhances flavor, brings out what is already within the dish, makes it more enjoyable. I’ve been dwelling on this idea as we launch back into our semester after Christmas break. As I come face to face with new students am I gracious, welcoming, wise?
Gracious in my communication takes effort. I have a lot coming across my desk, my emails are filling faster than I can read thoroughly and respond. I hear myself repeat, “I’ll get back to you, we’ll figure it out” to the many requests in these first weeks.
Gracious speech is slow. It is unhurried. It is the opposite of a task driven mindset. When teaching, leading, parenting, working with people in any capacity gracious speech must be integrated into my mindset if communication is to flourish.
Gracious speech takes listening well. It flows out of an abundance of love for others. Their needs and wants are more important than my agenda. That comes in conflict with my to do list at times. During ‘normal’ days it is usually manageable. In busy days, the seamless thread between answering questions and solving problems stretches taught and my focus feels the strain.
Yet, God doesn’t call us to drop everything, foregoing the tasks necessary to do the job He has given us. He calls us to walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of time.
Wisdom provides us knowledge of how to solve a problem, and also when. Wisdom gives us discernment of how to structure our day to allow interruptions and to know when to shut our door so a time of quiet intent work can be accomplished.
Gracious speech is honest, makes room for others, but cares for self as well. Gracious speech remains quiet until kind words can come. Gracious speech is precise, clear, and direct, without being harmful or insincere. Gracious speech flows when we are rooted in the Spirit, doing our work, while welcoming His interruptions.
Welcoming His interruptions requires wisdom. What needs are brought forward that I should attend to immediately? What needs can wait? If we don’t allow wisdom to guide our decisions, the needs press uninvited not just into my office, but they sit down in our living room during dinner, and then they become loud voices standing at the end of the bed in the middle of the night.
Needs unmet like to remind us while we sleep. Our brains, wired to solve, to fix, to set straight, don’t like loose ends. And when given the freedom of nighttime without all the hustle of the line of people outside door, the needs remind us of their existence and press hard to make themselves our priority.
Lack of sleep can challenge our ability to speak graciously. “Take every thought captive” is a running monologue in my head. Colossians 3:16 puts it this way, “let the words of Christ, in all their richness, live in your hearts and make you wise” (NLT). I can’t control all my thoughts – especially the middle of the night doomsday ones. But I can draw on the words of Christ. He can take my thoughts captive. He can settle them down and soothe my runaway worries. His presence can take every thought captive – if I let him.
Welcoming Christ to fill me with His presence allows me to be welcoming to others. This may sound weird. You don’t just let others into your house to take over – here you go friend, move the furniture around and do whatever you think is best. We might welcome a friend’s advice – do you like this chair here or over by the window? But we don’t often – give them full control. We keep some guidelines, choose a color scheme, give our personal preferences or we might not like what they do.
True wisdom, full wisdom, comes from giving over control – giving Christ the keys to our house and letting Him have at it. That is terrifying. He might move things around in ways I don’t like! However, what I’ve found over the years is He is gentle. He knows our hearts, our worries, our fears, our strengths, and what gives us joy. He loves us fully. His motives are good and pure. So His actions are as well. He patiently builds our trust every time we give Him the keys. He always welcomes us back when we rearrange the furniture. He knows we need to see that chair in every spot in the room before we settle on where He placed it. And over time, we start to trust where He moved it the first time. We adjust His placement of the parts of our lives less, when we see how His placement really is best.
That’s when things get interesting! Just when we think we have the furniture of our lives in perfect places, He says – now, let’s get rid of that chair. But I love that chair! I sit in it everyday! It’s so comfortable and looks just right in that corner. Let’s get rid of it. He says, trust me – I have a better idea. He welcomes us into the design process just when we get too comfortable. If we let Him take lead, our wisdom grows.
Now furniture aside, each chair represents the ideas, people, places, work, challenges, dreams, the stuff we have deemed important, significant enough to take a place in the living room of our mind. Those things we feel ownership over, control of, responsibility for are the things we keep readjusting in our brains. Our priorities, our relationships, our to do lists, all exist in alignment with the wisdom of Christ or they are things we trip over as we try to walk along His path.
Wisdom can help us see those obstacles, to step over or around them, until we eventually move them out of the way. This reminds me of the piles of things I place on the steps to go upstairs. My kids tend to walk around the things, jump over them, or step right on them as the go up and down each day. I draw in my gracious speech, set the stuff closer upstairs, kindly and hopeful at first. And later through gritted teeth plead did you take the stuff upstairs? Each time the stuff remains, growing in size. Becoming a kind of game like using pillows to not step on hot lava. My wisdom and gracious speech runs thin. Do I do it myself or have a come to Jesus conversation? Why does it matter they say. Because it’s clutter I reply. Who is right?
Wisdom says neither. Our focus is misaligned. Like boxers taking their corners, neither side will come out of this conflict without bruises. Give up? Is that the answer? Not necessarily. Come towards each other. And wait. Let Christ who dwells within open the door and welcome them in. Stand aside and see how His graciousness moves – in us both.
As I finish this first week of new classes, I wonder – have I been welcoming, gracious, and wise? Have people felt loved more than handled? Has my family been shuffled aside by the work that followed me home? Have my student’s experienced Christ through me or are they confused by misalignment of my words and my actions?
Has my to do list been barking at me, or is it in a place where I can see it and use it but not let it’s speech drown out His truth? Probably some of both.
To speak in an “interesting, stimulating and wise way” (ESV, 2008) is at the heart of good teaching. Am I engaging my students by trusting them with their learning? This question compels me to give over my agenda in each class to what they might have hidden within. Do I drone on, telling them what they need to know, or do I present a reason for them to dig in and wonder about the topic?
Interesting, stimulating, and wise speech requires preparation. My plans are just one piece. My students response is another. If I present ideas in a compelling way, they are more likely to respond with interest. If I create an environment that gives them space then we are free to wrestle with ideas, question the world’s ways, and develop beliefs. This requires me to prepare and then let go. Think through who is in my class, what are their interests and strengths, and what activities will draw them out.
This preparation is like setting the table, preparing the meal, and then thinking ahead about some things for us to discuss. All the while, holding loosely to those topics so there is room for their thoughts to develop.
A welcoming and gracious host doesn’t tell their guests what to talk about. They don’t scorn or mock their guests for not putting their napkin in the lap or texting at the table. They model good habits, they create an inviting and beautiful setting that makes the guest feel different about the meal. And they make sure to place salt within reach.
This first week has had moments where trust rubs against moments of fleshy control. But overall it’s been good. He is present. He has moved some chairs and I like the new spots.
I keep humming the song that says, “make me a vessel,” an empty vessel waiting to be filled. Daily, make me a vessel, fill me with Your spirit, I know it will be good.
World obsessed with celebrity,
